What Is Ruminating? And How to Take Back Control

You know that feeling when a thought gets stuck in your head, like a song on repeat, and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t move on? That’s ruminating—a mental hamster wheel where you keep revisiting the same problem, memory, or worry, over and over again. It’s like our brain decides, “Hey, let’s hyper-focus on this thing that’s bothering us!” But instead of helping, it usually makes us feel worse—more stressed, more anxious, more stuck. The good news? While we can’t always stop those thoughts from popping up, we can learn how to manage them.

Why Do We Ruminate?

Ruminating usually kicks in when we’re trying to make sense of something painful or confusing. Maybe you replay a tough conversation, wondering what you could’ve said differently. Or you obsess over a decision, trying to figure out if you made the “right” choice. The tricky part is, our brains think we’re solving a problem. But in reality, we’re just spinning in circles.

How to Stop (or Control) Ruminating

Here’s the thing: stopping rumination doesn’t mean shutting off your thoughts altogether. That’s impossible—and honestly, not helpful. Instead, it’s about gently guiding your mind toward a healthier direction.

1. Label It

The next time you catch yourself spiraling, pause and say, “Oh, I’m ruminating.” Just naming it can create a little distance between you and the thought, giving you the space to decide what to do next.

2. Redirect Your Focus

Sometimes, the best way to break the cycle is to distract yourself. Call a friend, go for a walk, or dive into a hobby. Bonus points if it’s something that fully engages your mind, like painting, reading, or exercising.

3. Ask Yourself: Is This Helpful?

Not all thinking is bad. Some thoughts are productive, while others are just…noise. When you catch yourself ruminating, ask:

• Am I solving a problem?

• Am I learning something new?

• Or am I just rehashing the same thing?

If it’s the latter, it might be time to let it go (easier said than done, I know).

4. Set a “Worry Time”

This one sounds weird, but it works. Schedule 15-20 minutes a day to let yourself worry or think about that one thing. Outside of that time? Gently remind yourself, “I’ll deal with this later.”

5. Get Out of Your Head

Ruminating thrives in stillness. So, move! Stretch, dance, clean your space—anything to shake up your energy and bring you back into the present moment.

6. Talk It Out

Sometimes, our thoughts feel too big to handle alone. Sharing them with someone—a friend, a therapist, even a journal—can lighten the load and bring clarity.

Remember, You’re Not Alone

Everyone ruminates from time to time. It’s part of being human. The key isn’t to stop the thoughts altogether but to learn how to respond to them with kindness and curiosity instead of judgment or panic. Think of it like this: Your mind is like a radio. Rumination is just static. With practice, you can learn to tune into a different station—one that plays something a little more uplifting.

And if it feels tough? That’s okay. Changing the way you think takes time. You’ve got this.

What’s your favorite way to get out of your head?